Module 2: Your Kids’ Reactions Make Sense

Just like you need time to process what happened, your kids do too. After a disaster, children can sometimes appear to be “doing fine,” but that doesn’t always mean they aren’t affected. Many kids try to hold their feelings in because they don’t want to make a tricky situation even harder for their family. That’s actually a common—and protective—response.

Talking about the disaster together as a family can really help. Kids often don’t have the words for what they’re feeling yet, so it’s okay to help by naming emotions out loud. When feelings are spoken, they feel less scary and less heavy.

One of our clients shared that she started doing this at dinner. She’d say things like, “I’m feeling really scared since the fire. How about you?” or “I’m so mad that we lost our stuff. What are you most mad about?” That simple check-in helped her middle school–aged kids open up and talk more honestly about what was going on inside.

The most helpful thing parents can do after a disaster is to stay calm, offer reassurance, and be patient. There’s no need to rush kids to “feel better.” Feeling heard, understood, and safe is what helps them heal—one conversation at a time.